How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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