He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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