i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
