Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
