I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
