i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Are my feet made of real feet?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My dick has a subreddit
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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