i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
