You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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