I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Randomize
