Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
