Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
