garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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