I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
