yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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