Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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