Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
