I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
