I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
