Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
