Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
tell me about the eggs
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
