my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
organizing the empties. That sober.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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