Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize