i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm both gender and math confused
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
