OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
