Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize