So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
