Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
