...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
