dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
