I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I see more hoeing in ur future
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