Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Dick very happy bro
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
