i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
