yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
