it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
