this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
