How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Bring me that man meat
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
