love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
