Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Randomize
