I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
