The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
