Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
