What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
