ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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