you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
