grandma shit on top of the toilet
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
