we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
