She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
