he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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