my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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