Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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