Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
