The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Be still, my beating vagina.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
