OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
