He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
