Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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