New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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