discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
