oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
