I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
