***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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