Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
