I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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