I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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