At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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