okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
