I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
